04/05/2001

By Charles Ealy / The Dallas Morning News

Now that the golden dust has settled over this year's Oscar winners, it's time to take note of Hollywood's lesser lights. Yes, let's discuss the noncoveted Golden Raspberry Awards, which dishonor those who spend too much and entertain too few.

As you've probably heard, Battlefield Earth was this year's top turkey, with seven Razzies including worst movie, worst actor (John Travolta), supporting actor (Barry Pepper), and supporting actress (Kelly Preston). This total has put it in a tie with 1995's Showgirls, which "won'' in such categories as worst picture, worst actress (Elizabeth Berkley), worst director (Paul Verhoeven) and worst new star (Berkley, a double "victor"!).

And since Battlefield Earth has seen fit to tangle with Showgirls for the most mindless movie of all time, it seems only appropriate to examine other Hollywood worsts.

The all-time Raspberry champ is Sylvester Stallone, with too many dishonors to list. His total tarnish becomes even greater if you consider his producing credits.

A sampling from the Raspberry archives proves the point: a shared shame with Sharon Stone for 1994's worst screen couple in The Specialist; 1992's worst actor for Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot; 1988's worst actor for Rambo III; 1985's triple travesty of worst actor, director and screenwriter for Rambo: First Blood, Part II; and worst actor for 1984's hideous Rhinestone.

Demi Moore, Madonna and Bo Derek are locked in a battle for all-time worst actress. Derek struck first with 1981's Tarzan the Ape Man, tying Faye Dunaway (Mommie Dearest). Three years later, Derek bored us to tears again in Bolero.

Madonna began bottom-feeding in 1986 with Shanghai Surprise. The following year, she solidified her low standing with Who's That Girl. But the undeterred Derek struck back in 1990 with Ghosts Can't Do It. Can't do what, Bo? Act?

Madonna then landed a blow to Bo with 1993's Body of Evidence.

By 1996, Moore was primed for rock-bottom with Striptease and The Juror. For Striptease, she received the worst actress title as well as worst screen couple (with Burt Reynolds). And by jinxing The Juror, she tied herself for worst actress.

One year later, she laid claim to all-time worst status by wallowing in the mud of G.I. Jane.

The Raspberry for worst new star has been a reliable indicator of future staindom. In 1982, Pia Zadora was singled out for her performance in Butterfly. Then, Vanilla Ice got the nod for 1991's Cool as Ice. Anna Nicole Smith reclaimed the crown for women with 1994's Naked Gun 33-1/3, and was bolstered by Pamela Anderson Lee's "victory" in 1996 with Barb Wire.

But Dennis Rodman slam-dunked one for the guys with 1997's Double Team.

All of which goes to show that celebrity mediocrity is a dog-eat-dog world.