03/26/2001

By Manuel Mendoza / The Dallas Morning News

Accepting the cinematography award for Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, Peter Pau said, "I'm going to speak very fast." And then he did, rattling off a long list of names, some of them in Chinese.

The Oscar audience laughed knowingly.

The length of the telecast, which set a record last year at four hours and 10 minutes, has become as big an issue as who wore the silliest dress or even who won the big awards.

This year, the motion picture academy's annual attempt to move the show along finally paid off. Sunday night's awards came in at a mere three hours and 28 minutes, less than half an hour over the scheduled running time.

Signs of the academy's efforts, as well as the presenters' and winners' awareness of their marching orders, were everywhere.

Julia Roberts, who presented Mr. Pau with his award, skipped the written introduction for the cinematography category, noting how long it had taken her to walk across the stage. And Mr. Pau's Crouching Tiger colleague Tan Dun, winner for best score, noted, "I've prepared something that's exactly 45 seconds."

Beware if you didn't. At least four winners who went over the allotted time were cut off by the house orchestra. Later, as she accepted her Oscar for best actress, Ms. Roberts told the orchestra conductor to put down his stick and sit. Then she filibustered.

But the rushed feel was mitigated by a couple of factors, one good, one bad.

First, the bad news: No matter how short the show gets, nothing can make the montages, song performances and honorary-Oscar tributes seem less than endless.

The good news: Steve Martin.

The first-time host walked that fine line between making fun of Hollywood and its Academy Awards and really mocking them.

In the opening monologue, his most vicious shot was aimed at Russell Crowe, the best-actor winner for Gladiator but perhaps better known for his affair with Meg Ryan.

Mentioning that best-actress nominee Ellen Burstyn had gained weight and made herself look older for her role in Requiem for a Dream, Mr. Martin added: "And Russell Crowe still hit on her."

Mr. Crowe, shown in his seat, didn't so much as crack a smile.

Mr. Martin's entrance was less elaborate than Billy Crystal's past movie-parody montages, but it was still out of this world.

Broadcasting live from the International Space Station Alpha, one of the astronauts aboard ejected a likeness of the host from her module.

After a slow start, Mr. Martin got off the ground with a zinger about the estimated 800 million viewers tuned in around the world. They all shared one thought: "That we're all gay."

And he kept coming up with good ones. Well into the show's third hour, Mr. Martin urged viewers to stay tuned. "At the end of the night," he said, "we're going to vote someone out of show business."

Even the nominated songs were a little more tolerable than usual. Thank Bob Dylan, who looked almost as scary as Willem Dafoe in Shadow of the Vampire as he sung the winning tune, "Things Have Changed" (from Wonder Boys), via satellite from Australia.

And thank Björk, who wore a swan-inspired dress to sing "I've Seen It All," her nominated song from Dancer in the Dark.

"I was going to wear my swan," Mr. Martin riffed, "but to me they're so last year."